Five reasons computers must be female...
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5- No one except their creator understands their 
internal logic.

4- Even your smallest mistakes are immediately 
   committed to memory for future reference.

3- The native language used to communicate with other 
   computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2- The message, "Bad command or filename", is as  
   informative as "if you don't know why I'm angry at you, 
   then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

1- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find you
   are spending most your salary on accessories for it.